As much as I'd like to say I'm confident in my abilities to do the things I do, I'm not. At all. I love it, it drives me, it makes me happy, it makes me feel alive. But I'm never 100% sure of myself. I always question something. Working to quiet the critical voices in my head to allow freedom to just do the next thing. Write the song, schedule the meeting, book the gig, make a decision, play the "right" note. But I do it because it has to be done. It's like when you walk down a row of delicate glass vases with signs telling you to be careful, that feeling that you want to be careless and you just HAVE to knock them all down. You, of course, don't, and probably most of you don't even know what that feels like and think I'm a little crazy and that's ok. But that feeling is satiated when I create something. I want to share my human experience to hopefully move someone to feel just a little bit more connected, a little less alone, in this great big world. *wow so much cheese*
But seriously, I want to see people learn to really hear a song. To allow it to affect them.
Experiencing a song that brings me to tears, or makes me laugh, or makes me want to viscerally scream, is something I think few people allow from themselves, unfortunately. But that is my favorite part of music. The parts that cause a reaction so strong that you must let it out physically. Dancing, or swaying, tapping, smiling, a faster pulse, or a deep relaxing breath. It's not an accident. It's a deep connection that we as created beings share. This indescribable feeling of connectedness through music. You feel heard. Acknowledged and known.
I love this shot from Becca at Lily and Sparrow Images in Fredericksburg, Virginia. I'm hovering over my gear, preparing, anxious, but super excited. Not really sure what's gonna happen. I ended up playing lots of notes in a funky mode of E major that made me feel like Inigo Montoya was likely after me because I played like I had six fingers on one hand.
I hope you stick around as more music is on its way. Thanks for reading.